Dylan Cormack

Deeper and deeper we go.

With the proverbial (and actual) hang-over of the new year steadily gaining distance behind us we’ve turned our attention to more important things like retaining gainful employment, fostering meaningful relationships, maintaining steady exercise and continuing the hunt for new flat mates.

Note that following the presidential primaries is not included.

And why should it be? Everyone else seems content to reiterate over and over a hundred times about the lack of experience this and $400 haircut that, and here is The Anti-Christ. And now, Oh My God how could the Nevada Primary possibly go that way? It’s a wonder there’s any news on at all. And then Heath Ledger goes and takes enough sleeping pills to wreck a pony, and now every female under the age of 50 is lamenting another babe gone down to the party beyond, joining the likes of James Dean and River Phoenix, and possibly one of the Baldwin’s, because, why not? They have enough.

Jeez. Slow down. There’s no call for that kind of thing.

Which is true. It’s too soon for that kind of talk. But no dreamy girl will be wed to ol’ Heath, that’s for sure, unless necrophilia makes a turn for the popular, which I don’t see happening. On no tabloids will pictures of Heath and Matthew McConaughey be shown getting out of shallow beaches, abs brimming with manhood and oodles of charm coming out their pores, sometimes mistaken for talent.

Sometimes. Which is a shame. Dude was beginning to make good films, and sleeping pills on a Hollywood heartthrob? Tragically cliche, no?

But there’s plenty to talk about. And yet, the impression I’m starting to get is that news, at least today, is not what is, but a reflection of what people want to hear. Televised politics, a sport in and of itself, like a perpetual Super bowl that no one pays serious attention to. And that’s terrifying given the education, attention span and critical thinking skills of the typical and average yoke in America. And if something as harmfully unimportant as the democratic presidential primaries steals the thunder of any story bigger than Heath Ledger’s suicide, it’s worrisome.

Which is not to say that Heath Ledger is more news-worthy than the election. Just that when the talking heads have been saying the same thing for 3 days on end and can still blot out a tragic actor’s death, then people must be really yearning for the promise that maybe today CNN will give them some meat.

Because, seriously: politically, these primaries mean nothing. Any democrat will sign the Kyoto Treaty, and not a second too soon. Any one of them would almost certainly refrain from bombing Iran. None of them will start WWIII before tackling immigration, health care and Iraq, and not a single one of those has any chance of being resolved in the next 30 years anyways. So as far as issues go, every candidate is identical. The fools who want Hilary because she’s a woman or Barack because he’s black, or even Edwards because he looks like a sitcom character from the 80′s are wasting time and energy.

Remember: there is nowhere to go but up.

But don’t mind my ranting; I’m disenchanted. I’m informed enough to be angry and foolish enough to care. Statistically, though, you’re probably not all that different from the rest of the electorate, so don’t take any of this personally. Just figure out if you’re one of the majority that forms political opinions based on the fluctuations of your heartbeat when you hear Hilary’s voice or if you’re in the minority that make sense when talking about it. If you’re a voice person, consider working on that. Or consider getting neutered. It’s the same to me.

But what’s certain is that it’s insane to discuss the candidates as if any of it mattered, unless you’re high or drunk, in which case either no one will pay attention to what you’re saying. Either that or else they might just elect you into the White House. Not all that far fetched, when you consider what America has done twice in a row now.

And since the rest of our attention is enthralled with things like doing numerous push ups and running countless kilometers every day, making sure my job isn’t forgotten by the payroll department, paying the rent with people that don’t put me to sleep and fueling the fire of passion even if it’s across the mighty At-a-lantic, it’s not altogether surprising that we might miss something like that. We get so tired of the bullshit that we sometimes can’t filter it from the background noise of stupidity. This too, is terrifying, but alas: reality.

https://facebook.com/dylan.cormack.1 Dylan Cormack

Dylan is our political correspondent, bold and fiery as his fuse is short. He is a well-read, on-location kind of writer and is no stranger to travel. Intimately familiar with many distant and dark corners of the Earth, Dylan brings a new kind of blood to his vicious style of journalism. He sends us his words, notes and effusive rants of observation, commentary and occasional judgement.

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