another political mess… I’m glad you keep coming back for these.

“Let’s see, what do we have in this frigid box tonight… there’s something old and stagnant there behind the Gruyere…”

“ooh, gross, I think that’s Nancy Pelosi, still pretending like she did anything except drive away moderates.”

“Gnarly. What’s that next to the white bread?”

“Dude, that looks like John Edwards.”

“Yeah, totally. But I thought he usually stood with the jam.”

“No, man. He used butter a few times, just as the jam started getting bad.”

“What a dick. Are these pickles any good?”

“Never were really. But even if you liked the stuff, it’s been on it’s way out for a while.”

“Is that Kerry next to the ketchup?”

“I think so!”

“Jesus, what happened to him?”

“He got bold, man. Utter rejection will do that to you.”

“Wow, and is that John McCain there with that pretty little banana?”

“No, that’s just a dead rat.”

“Oh. Are you sure?”

“Yep. I put it in there to fuck with the new flatmate last week.”

“Gross. It really looks like him.”

“Trust me, dude. Dead Rat. Here, try this new pie I found in here yesterday.”

“Is it good? It looks… I don’t know. Different.”

“See that white stuff around the edges? That’s the sweet stuff.”

“What about this darker center here with all these… fresh-looking things?”

“That’s hope.”

“Any good?”

“We’ll see.”

–

What are we dealing with here? What’s the score?

How is it that the Democrats have EVERYTHING a political strategist could covet and still all these doubts and uncertainties fly around the internets. Hmm? How is that?

What the hell is wrong with Howard Dean that he can’t even keep political capital like the freight train that Obama’s been fueling in a straight path to victory? While we should be careening across middle America, taking nothing but eager followers, we have a nitwit with a chairmanship who doesn’t even know that Obama spoke in front of the Parthenon for his acceptance speech.

Hilary Clinton, who can’t seem to convince even herself of what she’s saying has had to (seemingly) drag Bill into doing what he does best, twinkle his eyes at Americans horny for grace and charm and a presidential political flame instead of a couple of blades of grass that seem too wet to catch the spark. Every other politician who approaches a podium these days from stage right seems to have a severe deficiency in public speaking skills…

Why won’t the DNC throw out clips of republican flip-flops and contradictions on the media… or shit, YouTube? Why do I have to go read the fucking Christian Science Monitor and ThinkProgress.org and The Nation to learn that all the shit you hear McCain and Grahm and Palin and Rove and well… you see where this list is going… and learn that all the shit you hear these assholes declare are in diametric opposition to what they said as recently as last week? Lies! Blatant, insulting, outright lies! Every word these fuckers utter carries dishonesty, and yet, Obama is barely in the lead in all the poles, and if history is any indicator, McCain even has an honest SHOT at this thing. Could we BE that fucked?

The media won’t press any question that wasn’t happily answered on the first go and continue to insist that talking about why talking to one candidate more than another is fair vs. not fair can still be considered journalism.

The only things that seem alive on the floor of the convention is that fat guy who thinks he can dance, Denis Kusinich, who seemed possessed by David Copperfield, and John Kerry, who somehow found his way into some bold leadership since 2004. Good timing there, Jack.

As if the present dire situation in America wasn’t enough to give every democrat a wet dream for their chances in November. Right now, Hurricane Gustav, the category 2 (give it a few hours and it’ll be 3) monster that is about to finish off what Katrina didn’t is taking all the wind out of the Republican National Convention. And they’re in such dire straights that they’re probably thankful for the opportunity to not have to put their faces on Television, secretly hoping that people will forget what they never saw much more quickly. Maybe even in time for the the elections in November.

Why are the Dems so pathetic when there is so much energy going for the left? Where is that sense that HST wrote about in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, the sense in the 60′s that what they were doing was right, and that their energy would carry them through; prevail… that their wave of vibes would overpower without force the works of Nixon and that lot…

Why don’t we have it? What are we missing?

WTF?

I decided that articles were going to do me no good. I’ve been reading the blogs out in the tubes, and listening to the coverage in and around St. Paul, Washington, Juneau, etc… there’s nothing of help there. It’s all more of the same.

Don’t forget: that’s why you come HERE. For the good stuff.

So I decided to scour the comments sections of these things to better understand what PEOPLE think, not just what the newspapers that want to sell ad space want them to think. Here’s what I thought were representative samples of comments from an article on Sarah Palin in the Christian Science Monitor. Please note that it was basically all I could do to not put little comments next to them, or draw in caricatures of what I think these people look like. Also note that I’m not listing all of them here because… well, because you won’t read it anyway. Go on, though… I dare you:

_Moderate

08.29.08

Woman or not, she’s still an extreme right-winger who knows more about commercial fishing, snowmachine races and basketball than representing the real issues of middle America._

_Stephanie

08.29.08

I think she knows how to be a true leader; to stand up to political pressures and she can attract the younger generation. Her family resonates with the working class._

_indepenpol

08.29.08

A smart political move! Now convince me that she is qualified to be

president in the event that something happens to McCain if he is elected.

They will get my vote simply to try to prevent one party rule again. One party rule by the GOP proved to be a disaster and could be even worse with one party rule by the Democrats._

_Nin

08.29.08

I think this is a very interesting choice that should play out nicely. McCain is experienced and qualified and is running with sensible ideas. He’ll choose a good cabinet. That heartbeat away **** is non-sense. If god forbid something happened to McCain, Palin would take over surrounded by McCain’s advisers so her lack of forein policy experience is really not that big of a deal. Obviously this is a choice that will help bring women aboard McCain’s campaign._

Obama on the other hand, has stupid ideas and has already surrounded himself with psychos, cough Rev. Wright and plenty of other bimbos including Bill Clinton’s people. So to top off his inexperience he makes poor choices when it comes to advisors.

_Mom

08.29.08

Good choice she could be McCain’s trump card. They will get my vote. The Dem no nothing about running our Country. Besides someone who will not honor our flag is really low down. Race has nothing to do with it. I vote for the person not the color or their skin._

_Joyce Moul

08.29.08

I am glad we have another choice. I can’t vote for Obama and I was afraid to vote for McCain. They could write a movie about this woman if McCain wins, dies of health problems and she ends up as President. The Republicans get my vote._

_Brian from WY

08.29.08

I am pleasantly surprised at a very wise choice for Vice-President. Being from Alaska I’m sure she is familiar with the issues of resonsibly developing resources. We can’t let our country be held hostage by environmentalists forbiding development._

_orangebear

08.29.08

Great choice. The first women president will be a republican. They are the party of progress. She is working class middle america._

_Republican4Obama

08.29.08

I’m so ashamed of my party and its mouthpieces these days, it’s killing me. I am a fiscal conservative and small business owner who voted for Nixon, Reagan and Bush Sr., but in the past eight years we’ve seen decisions such as the one John McCain just made time and time again. It’s pathetic. This isn’t conservatism. The Republican Party — the party I loved and cherished for more than three decades — is, for all intents and purposes, dead. It no longer thinks; it reacts. Sarah Palin doesn’t believe in government for the people, she believes in breaks for the rich, just like Bush and McCain. Her big issue is guns. Good, let Ted Nugent vote for her. I challenge REAL conservatives — fiscal conservatives — to break away from that sinking ship and join me in voting for only solid leaders we have in this election: Barack Obama and Joe Biden. Ever since Bill Clinton helped recover this nation from its economic slump, the real conservatives are, dare I say, to the left of the center. I haven’t switched parties yet because I always have hope for my beloved GOP. But my hope is waning and I’m loving the Democratic Party more and more these days. The Republican Party has become a joke. I hope that changes. In the mean time, I’m voting for Obama-Biden. Then we’ll see if the Republicans can kick these spoiled, economically irresponsible neocons out of the party once and for all. God bless America — and God save her._

_SoccerMom

08.29.08

Bold choice – conservative women (yes there are many) are going to be energized about this ticket. At last a woman who shares my views on important fiscal and defense issues._

_Rep

08.29.08

What is McCain trying to do to us? There is no way she is ready to be President. I am so disappointed I could cry._

_Awesome pick!

08.29.08

s I listened to her speech today, tears welled up in my eyes. She is an awesome pick–a thoroughly decent person who can bring about the changes that are needed in this country.I was lukewarm on McCain before–now there is no question in my mind that this party is the right choice. I feel a totally renewed sense of hope that things can be changed in this country for the better.This woman strikes me as having the strength of character to really make it happen._

_Yrreb

08.29.08

I think shes reelly hot. And she used to be Miss Alaska or somthing. Whats rong with having a hot presidint? Also she likes to shoot guns. I like guns. And food._

_Ron H.

08.29.08

Go get them Sarah !! I am a Father of a daughter that will turn 11 in just a few days, I am proud to tell my daughter that she can do anything she wants to in America if she works hard enough and is honest. I agree with Pro Life, Pro Family, Conservative Values that support the American Family — the McCain / Palin ticket supports what we believe in. I do not trust Obama, he has no experience to speak of to qualify him for the top spot on anyone’s ticket. He is Pro-Abortion and I will not in good conscience vote for anyone with values I don’t agree with._

_Kenny Hott

09.01.08

Sarah Palin was raised up by God to be nominated as the next vice president. Surely if God could take a sheered boy named David and make him king of Israel, He can surely can give her the wisdom and the ability to be vice president. People forget that a president has a cabinet with people that are given wisdom to help them by God. Furthermore she was also was raised up by God to speak out against abortion which is one of the greatest sins of the US. Just because the US laws says abortion is legal does not make it legal in the sight of God. The US is being judged by God for this sin of murdering innocent babies. I wonder how many people who are pro-choice would have wanted their mother to have aborted them. I would think not many yes answers to that question._

I mean, really. Really? Yes. No, YOU’RE a reasonless ideologue. No YOU are.

Yeah.

But here’s the staggering thing: it’s not overwhelmingly to one side or the other. That’s crazy. It means that of people who bother to post comments on web articles (bless their hearts, and yours, if your name is Clair) the country is not overwhelmingly intelligent… there’s a serious split over something that should be as obvious as not throwing yourself out of a 10 story building.

I’ll tell you what: Ben Franklin was right, and I hold this truth to be self-evident: the American Public cannot be trusted with reason. And given this obviously well-balanced split of season less stupidity to reckless adherence in outdated ideology, who KNOWS what will happen in November?

I guess we’ll just see.