Why are house republicans REALLY against any kind of deal whatsoever?
Welcome to Washington D.C., the sign says. Hunter Thompson wrote about coming to Washington when he covered the campaign trail in ‘72 and it wasn’t a pretty town then, either. The roads leading into the district were just as foul and littered with vermin and swine and new lawyers. There was probably more acid then and a little more tact, but it stank to holy shits back then too. According to Hunter.
But now it’s worse. Every since John McCain swooped down over Washington and it’s hordes of frantic legislators in the midst of reaching a middle ground where this financial bailout package is concerned, something has really started to stink.
Actually, it started to smell bad earlier than that. John McCain was due to be on David Letterman’s show in New York last week and canceled at the last minute, saying that he had to “suspend his campaign activities” to “immediately return to Washington”.
By “immediately”, of course, McCain meant that he was going to
- go straight to Katie Couric’s show, also on CBS
- get his makeup done (I’m not making this up)
- give her and interview at the same time he would’ve given Letterman his
- go to dinner
- RETURN TO HIS HOTEL for the night
- sleep
- have a nice breakfast AT ANOTHER HOTEL
…and then catch a flight to Washington.
And why? Because he couldn’t “phone this one in”? Not only has he not phoned ANYTHING in since April 8th but while he was physically in Washington he didn’t go to the hill, where the discussions were being had. Mostly he stayed in his campaign headquarters, except when he went to the White House photo op or when he went out to dinner with Joe Leiberman. Did he not think we’d find out about this?
Of course he knew; he’s an obscene and gross little maggot but he’s not unconscious or stupid. Something else was up.
We don’t, at this point know what that was, and it’s starting to look like we never will. The debate went as well as McCain could’ve hoped for, with Barack Obama merely spanking him rather than full on embarrassing the aging senator. And now we have Chuck Schumer questioning Alberto Gonzalez about who sent him to the hospital to strong arm then sick Attorney General, John Ashcroft, into cooperating with the Bush Administration’s illegal wiretapping initiative. Wouldn’t you know it? The little runt wants to talk! He wants to answer questions and say that he “was there on behalf of the President of the United States”!
You’d think this was a great way to get attention off of the financial situation but the American people are too focused, too myopic for that. Remember, illegal wiretapping is sooo last year. The American public doesn’t have time for remembering the things their government broke last year and haven’t fixed yet. They’re too focused on what their government is breaking THIS year, and this kind of distraction won’t get them very far.
Well, it’ll get Alberto Gonzales pretty far. From employment, that is. Nobody with a soul or a concept of hygiene has been able to stomach hiring the man since he “resigned”. And after this weaseling and finger pointing that resembles retired generals, Scott McLellan and many others who after leaving the Bush Administration decide they’ve seen the light and want to tell the truth again as if they’ve been under the Imperius Curse or something, well, let’s just say that a woman in white gloves wouldn’t GIVE him her ketchup popsicle.
But. I’ve strayed from John McCain, and how much he stinks, which is, I guess what they wanted me to do. Those of you still with me here, well, you’re winning.
More on topic: it stinks. House Republicans have been urging no bailout, no bailout as if someone was listening. But they know, just like everyone else seems to, that something like this, in some form or other, is necessary. To refuse it outright would be foolish. To do nothing would be even worse, though I’m not sure anyone is seriously proposing that.
(Any interesting quotes you’d like to contribute, representative Bachman?)
So why would they oppose it? Let’s see…
They could genuinely feel that it’s unconstitutional to give someone this much power over funds and not stand for that…but they’re house republicans and everyone who’s been around knows that they always end up getting some of the pie so let’s not kid ourselves here.
It’s really a politics thing.
Going along with this would mean that if it works, Democrats get credit for working bipartisanly…if it doesn’t work, your name is attached to something that failed…again.
Going against it means that if it works, you can claim that they got lucky and you didn’t want to take that kind of irresponsible risk (which is superficially, at least, similar to Obama’s position on the surge in Iraq though I think he’s not nearly vocal enough of the fact that the surge won’t have “worked” until they define what “working” means - just because violence is down doesn’t mean you’ve removed any part of the problem…it could be any number of things like, say, 30K extra troops suppressing the problem, which is hardly a solution.)
Whew. I almost strayed again on that one. But I’m back.
So there’s no political reason for the House Republicans to back up this deal. The democrats, if they want to be responsible and pass something they think is necessary, might have to go into it without them, and take some ownership of the solution. Imagine that. Balls.
But remember: doing SOMETHING is not the goal here. Doing nothing can’t realistically happen but they must do the right thing. And any democrat who votes for a bill with the wrong provisions (see the previous article) will not receive my vote again. It’s as simple as that.
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People, people, people…
PEOPLE!
There are some truths that we must recognize and stop talking about so that we can move on to the good stuff. Luckily, you’re all primed to hear about them because they have to do with THE ISSUES - which you love - and that’s what this election in November is going to be about.
Right? Right.
Abortion
It’s pretty obvious to anyone paying attention at this point that Roe v. Wade will not be repealed without some kind of voodoo on the Supreme Court. It would be a travesty to the American Way of life, but not because it goes against our values, necessarily. Roe v. Wade has become like Fenway, like Thanksgiving, like Drive Thru’s, like Labor Day Sales, like hot dogs and watermelons and like frivolous lawsuits. It’s an American Institution. You can’t get rid of Roe v. Wade. What the hell would we bicker about pointlessly in presidential races?
So, seriously, shut up about abortion. It’s legal, and besides, the President of the United States is just about the least powerful peg on the totem pole when it comes to changing the constitution. Even Franklin, Adams and Hamilton agreed on that. Hell, even Ahnold has more sway with that document than does the Prez. The best chance the chief executive has is to stack the deck, and that’s only if you get lucky like W. and have 2 freaking seats give way to you. In a matter of months. Weird.
National Security
It’s pretty obvious to anyone counting the ciphers at the NSA that National Security has been mostly an efficient way to make my tax dollars go from one magical place to another magical place as inefficiently as possible. We could’ve been more efficient in wasting so much money as what we spend on the TSA: we could’ve put it all in a pile in the middle of the desert and taken a match to it.
Furthermore, the disaster of national security, aside from the poor planning, poor execution and poor response, is really the fact that the mentality of people has now changed to one that more closely resembles frightened hamsters than Americans in pursuit of their life, liberty and/or happiness. Seriously. You can cause panic, fear and a total disruption of commerce simply by putting an empty briefcase at a street corner. Or you can hang a circuit board with wires hanging from it on electrical wires around a city. Or you can leave a note in the seat back pocket of an aircraft saying that there’s a bomb in the airport.
Watch how people react. It’s insane. Frightened rats make more sense in their flee tactics and threat assertions. We suck at that kind of thing.
Health Care
It’s pretty obvious to anyone that has lived abroad or been injured abroad while traveling that American health care is the shite of the civilized world. Embarrassingly complicated, impossibly expensive and totally overrun by insurance companies and staff infections, and god help you if you use Kaiser Permanente. I mean, you may as well just amputate your own head.
Ideas float rampantly in political campaigns, but if you pay attention, no one has ever really got hold of one of these “ideas”; not really. Promises are made like it was an algebra problem, but it always falls short on explaining anything. It’s not impossible, I’m sure. But with 300 million people, nothing’s really easy. Obama’s new plan is no different, though the man can sure tell a good story, eh?
I feel like buying some health care already.
Foreign Policy
It’s pretty obvious to anyone looking out instead of just looking in that the world is a big place, and that America doesn’t fill up anywhere near enough of it to behave the way it does. Being abroad has shown me that if there’s such as thing as “stark contrast” it’s what you see when you put the “typical” American image that the world has come to have next to the image of an American who has traveled. The world seems to think (mostly rightfully so) of bumbling idiots that are as loud as they are rude, unrefined and totally despicable animals of no taste or class. But American’s who travel, who have a chance to look back as they leave borders behind are almost unanimously disgusted by their brethren. They think very much like Europeans, that America is doomed and there’s nothing the world can do about it. Which is too bad, I should say, because the place had so much potential.
Economy
It’s pretty obvious to anyone paying a mortgage or taxes or dividends or just about anything that the economy has tanked. And I don’t mean like, a cycle, where if you just sit tight this thing will get figured out in 5-6 years and we can all go back to day trading while at work, shopping on amazon while driving down the road and checking out the nicer rims on the other Explorers who all pay the same $1.40 for gas.
No, no. This was a bad time for the US to fall flat on its face and drag the civilized world with it and the consequences will be more than just the sum of its parts. We have finally gotten past the Chinese Olympics (which everyone has already forgotten by now) in which China came out of the economic underground flashing the ownership title of all of our debt in its left hand and a fisted up can of whup-ass in the other. And everyone knows China is right handed.
While we distract ourselves and spread what little worth our economy has throughout the middle east in pointless ventures that haven’t had a hope of success in 5 years, China, India and Russia are being smart and silent. Europe can’t protect America because it’s got its own problems. Last week in Edinburgh I saw a comedian from the Isle of Mann poke fun of the housing market and those in it. How much more “rising of the proletariat” can you get? I mean, the Isle of Mann! Who’s ever heard of that place and they’re taking the piss out of the entire rest of the continent for getting swept up in this mess.
By the time this is done, not only will America be paying at least what it is now at the pump, but we won’t even have gallons anymore. Ever heard of the metric system? I suggest everyone take a steep course in Mandarin and look up the word “meter”. We’ll all be seeing it a lot more very soon with the learning curve that is around the corner.
Iraq
It’s pretty obvious to anyone paying attention at this point that Iraq will not have a pretty ending. Or even a clear one. And won’t somebody stop this shit about it being about supporting the troops? Wars aren’t about supporting the men and women you send to die. War is about something else. What do we do to mitigate a war? Do we provide equipment and healthcare for the fighters? Do we provide proper funding to the cause? Sure. If this were actually a war and not a terribly mis-guided joy ride on the taxpayer’s grandchildren.
How about supporting them by saving their lives and bringing them home, not by saving the egos of their leaders. Do I REALLY have to be the one to say that?
Global Warming
It’s pretty obvious to anyone paying attention at this point that we will not reverse this carbon problem. We should’ve been doing something about it in 1993. And only now are we even having discussions about it, and they’re not even productive. It’s still a talking point. That’s it, man. We’re fucked. The republican’s refuse to even use the term, “global warming” and the democrats are too incompetent to make the issue visible beyond some powerpoint slides and and green posters. Polar bears are melting (because, you know, they’re made of ice. I bet you Michelle Bachman would buy that) and we have people who think that unrestricting industry is more important than maintaining a sustainable growth. And no action.
You can have the congress set out resolutions upon resolutions about 50% of cars produced in the US must have 20% fewer emissions by the year 2156 or whatever, but that’s not action: it’s theater. You know and I know that nothing will happen except that there will be more hybrid commercials. And don’t even get me started on those damn things.
The End
It’s pretty obvious to anyone paying attention at this point that the options are limited, like always. John McCain is either a habitual liar or else that he has his memory systematically erased by Karl Rove every night before bed. Unofficially, of course. The corollary to that is that everyone in the mainstream media seems to have no capacity for short term memory. Don’t you people record the shit he says and then contradicts less than 24 hours later? Weren’t you there both times he said diametrically opposing things?
Yes, yes you were. So why don’t you stop him and point out his contradiction on the spot? Why don’t you get him on track when you ask him about his 7 houses and he replies with a POW story that sounds more like Abe Simpson drolling on about an incoherent and unrelated story? And why stop just because he gets visibly angry? Why don’t you just warn him before the interview that if he tries anything funny that we’ll put a stink bomb under his kitchen table, but that we won’t tell him which one it’s under?
What Else
It’s pretty obvious to anyone paying attention at this point that…
Oh, what the hell? Screw this shit - let’s have the hope. Sure. Have it. Fill your mouth with it like whipped cream or Velveeta from the bottle. Roll around in it like bushels of hay and make all the love you want, or don’t want. John McCain is either an idiot or a lying bastard and we’ve had enough of both for too long. Obama is not perfect, and he’s fucked up big on at least one occasion that I can think of off the top of my head (I’m looking at you, FISA Bill). And Biden… he ain’t perfect either with his big mouth and politician’s smile that I’ve so learned to distrust. But an Obama-Biden ticket… that’s some sweet sugar we’ve been so long without. We’ve been putting up with the bitter taste of Zombies and Frankensteins and recoiling in the sour shower of corruption and lies and outright thievery that we’ve forgotten the taste of real honey.
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another political mess… I’m glad you keep coming back for these.
“Let’s see, what do we have in this frigid box tonight… there’s something old and stagnant there behind the Gruyere…”
“ooh, gross, I think that’s Nancy Pelosi, still pretending like she did anything except drive away moderates.”
“Gnarly. What’s that next to the white bread?”
“Dude, that looks like John Edwards.”
“Yeah, totally. But I thought he usually stood with the jam.”
“No, man. He used butter a few times, just as the jam started getting bad.”
“What a dick. Are these pickles any good?”
“Never were really. But even if you liked the stuff, it’s been on it’s way out for a while.”
“Is that Kerry next to the ketchup?”
“I think so!”
“Jesus, what happened to him?”
“He got bold, man. Utter rejection will do that to you.”
“Wow, and is that John McCain there with that pretty little banana?”
“No, that’s just a dead rat.”
“Oh. Are you sure?”
“Yep. I put it in there to fuck with the new flatmate last week.”
“Gross. It really looks like him.”
“Trust me, dude. Dead Rat. Here, try this new pie I found in here yesterday.”
“Is it good? It looks… I don’t know. Different.”
“See that white stuff around the edges? That’s the sweet stuff.”
“What about this darker center here with all these… fresh-looking things?”
“That’s hope.”
“Any good?”
“We’ll see.”
–
What are we dealing with here? What’s the score?
How is it that the Democrats have EVERYTHING a political strategist could covet and still all these doubts and uncertainties fly around the internets. Hmm? How is that?
What the hell is wrong with Howard Dean that he can’t even keep political capital like the freight train that Obama’s been fueling in a straight path to victory? While we should be careening across middle America, taking nothing but eager followers, we have a nitwit with a chairmanship who doesn’t even know that Obama spoke in front of the Parthenon for his acceptance speech.
Hilary Clinton, who can’t seem to convince even herself of what she’s saying has had to (seemingly) drag Bill into doing what he does best, twinkle his eyes at Americans horny for grace and charm and a presidential political flame instead of a couple of blades of grass that seem too wet to catch the spark. Every other politician who approaches a podium these days from stage right seems to have a severe deficiency in public speaking skills…
Why won’t the DNC throw out clips of republican flip-flops and contradictions on the media… or shit, YouTube? Why do I have to go read the fucking Christian Science Monitor and ThinkProgress.org and The Nation to learn that all the shit you hear McCain and Grahm and Palin and Rove and well… you see where this list is going… and learn that all the shit you hear these assholes declare are in diametric opposition to what they said as recently as last week? Lies! Blatant, insulting, outright lies! Every word these fuckers utter carries dishonesty, and yet, Obama is barely in the lead in all the poles, and if history is any indicator, McCain even has an honest SHOT at this thing. Could we BE that fucked?
The media won’t press any question that wasn’t happily answered on the first go and continue to insist that talking about why talking to one candidate more than another is fair vs. not fair can still be considered journalism.
The only things that seem alive on the floor of the convention is that fat guy who thinks he can dance, Denis Kusinich, who seemed possessed by David Copperfield, and John Kerry, who somehow found his way into some bold leadership since 2004. Good timing there, Jack.
As if the present dire situation in America wasn’t enough to give every democrat a wet dream for their chances in November. Right now, Hurricane Gustav, the category 2 (give it a few hours and it’ll be 3) monster that is about to finish off what Katrina didn’t is taking all the wind out of the Republican National Convention. And they’re in such dire straights that they’re probably thankful for the opportunity to not have to put their faces on Television, secretly hoping that people will forget what they never saw much more quickly. Maybe even in time for the the elections in November.
Why are the Dems so pathetic when there is so much energy going for the left? Where is that sense that HST wrote about in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, the sense in the 60’s that what they were doing was right, and that their energy would carry them through; prevail… that their wave of vibes would overpower without force the works of Nixon and that lot…
Why don’t we have it? What are we missing?
WTF?
I decided that articles were going to do me no good. I’ve been reading the blogs out in the tubes, and listening to the coverage in and around St. Paul, Washington, Juneau, etc… there’s nothing of help there. It’s all more of the same.
Don’t forget: that’s why you come HERE. For the good stuff.
So I decided to scour the comments sections of these things to better understand what PEOPLE think, not just what the newspapers that want to sell ad space want them to think. Here’s what I thought were representative samples of comments from an article on Sarah Palin in the Christian Science Monitor. Please note that it was basically all I could do to not put little comments next to them, or draw in caricatures of what I think these people look like. Also note that I’m not listing all of them here because… well, because you won’t read it anyway. Go on, though… I dare you:
Moderate | 08.29.08
Woman or not, she’s still an extreme right-winger who knows more about commercial fishing, snowmachine races and basketball than representing the real issues of middle America.
Stephanie | 08.29.08
I think she knows how to be a true leader; to stand up to political pressures and she can attract the younger generation. Her family resonates with the working class.
indepenpol | 08.29.08
A smart political move! Now convince me that she is qualified to be
president in the event that something happens to McCain if he is elected.
They will get my vote simply to try to prevent one party rule again. One party rule by the GOP proved to be a disaster and could be even worse with one party rule by the Democrats.
Nin | 08.29.08
I think this is a very interesting choice that should play out nicely. McCain is experienced and qualified and is running with sensible ideas. He’ll choose a good cabinet. That heartbeat away **** is non-sense. If god forbid something happened to McCain, Palin would take over surrounded by McCain’s advisers so her lack of forein policy experience is really not that big of a deal. Obviously this is a choice that will help bring women aboard McCain’s campaign.
Obama on the other hand, has stupid ideas and has already surrounded himself with psychos, cough Rev. Wright and plenty of other bimbos including Bill Clinton’s people. So to top off his inexperience he makes poor choices when it comes to advisors.
Mom | 08.29.08
Good choice she could be McCain’s trump card. They will get my vote. The Dem no nothing about running our Country. Besides someone who will not honor our flag is really low down. Race has nothing to do with it. I vote for the person not the color or their skin.
Joyce Moul | 08.29.08
I am glad we have another choice. I can’t vote for Obama and I was afraid to vote for McCain. They could write a movie about this woman if McCain wins, dies of health problems and she ends up as President. The Republicans get my vote.
Brian from WY | 08.29.08
I am pleasantly surprised at a very wise choice for Vice-President. Being from Alaska I’m sure she is familiar with the issues of resonsibly developing resources. We can’t let our country be held hostage by environmentalists forbiding development.
orangebear | 08.29.08
Great choice. The first women president will be a republican. They are the party of progress. She is working class middle america.
Republican4Obama | 08.29.08
I’m so ashamed of my party and its mouthpieces these days, it’s killing me. I am a fiscal conservative and small business owner who voted for Nixon, Reagan and Bush Sr., but in the past eight years we’ve seen decisions such as the one John McCain just made time and time again. It’s pathetic. This isn’t conservatism. The Republican Party — the party I loved and cherished for more than three decades — is, for all intents and purposes, dead. It no longer thinks; it reacts. Sarah Palin doesn’t believe in government for the people, she believes in breaks for the rich, just like Bush and McCain. Her big issue is guns. Good, let Ted Nugent vote for her. I challenge REAL conservatives — fiscal conservatives — to break away from that sinking ship and join me in voting for only solid leaders we have in this election: Barack Obama and Joe Biden. Ever since Bill Clinton helped recover this nation from its economic slump, the real conservatives are, dare I say, to the left of the center. I haven’t switched parties yet because I always have hope for my beloved GOP. But my hope is waning and I’m loving the Democratic Party more and more these days. The Republican Party has become a joke. I hope that changes. In the mean time, I’m voting for Obama-Biden. Then we’ll see if the Republicans can kick these spoiled, economically irresponsible neocons out of the party once and for all. God bless America — and God save her.
SoccerMom | 08.29.08
Bold choice - conservative women (yes there are many) are going to be energized about this ticket. At last a woman who shares my views on important fiscal and defense issues.
Rep | 08.29.08
What is McCain trying to do to us? There is no way she is ready to be President. I am so disappointed I could cry.
Awesome pick! | 08.29.08
s I listened to her speech today, tears welled up in my eyes. She is an awesome pick–a thoroughly decent person who can bring about the changes that are needed in this country.I was lukewarm on McCain before–now there is no question in my mind that this party is the right choice. I feel a totally renewed sense of hope that things can be changed in this country for the better.This woman strikes me as having the strength of character to really make it happen.
Yrreb | 08.29.08
I think shes reelly hot. And she used to be Miss Alaska or somthing. Whats rong with having a hot presidint? Also she likes to shoot guns. I like guns. And food.
Ron H. | 08.29.08
Go get them Sarah !! I am a Father of a daughter that will turn 11 in just a few days, I am proud to tell my daughter that she can do anything she wants to in America if she works hard enough and is honest. I agree with Pro Life, Pro Family, Conservative Values that support the American Family — the McCain / Palin ticket supports what we believe in. I do not trust Obama, he has no experience to speak of to qualify him for the top spot on anyone’s ticket. He is Pro-Abortion and I will not in good conscience vote for anyone with values I don’t agree with.
Kenny Hott | 09.01.08
Sarah Palin was raised up by God to be nominated as the next vice president. Surely if God could take a sheered boy named David and make him king of Israel, He can surely can give her the wisdom and the ability to be vice president. People forget that a president has a cabinet with people that are given wisdom to help them by God. Furthermore she was also was raised up by God to speak out against abortion which is one of the greatest sins of the US. Just because the US laws says abortion is legal does not make it legal in the sight of God. The US is being judged by God for this sin of murdering innocent babies. I wonder how many people who are pro-choice would have wanted their mother to have aborted them. I would think not many yes answers to that question.
I mean, really. Really? Yes. No, YOU’RE a reasonless ideologue. No YOU are.
Yeah.
But here’s the staggering thing: it’s not overwhelmingly to one side or the other. That’s crazy. It means that of people who bother to post comments on web articles (bless their hearts, and yours, if your name is Clair) the country is not overwhelmingly intelligent… there’s a serious split over something that should be as obvious as not throwing yourself out of a 10 story building.
I’ll tell you what: Ben Franklin was right, and I hold this truth to be self-evident: the American Public cannot be trusted with reason. And given this obviously well-balanced split of season less stupidity to reckless adherence in outdated ideology, who KNOWS what will happen in November?
I guess we’ll just see.
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Rapidly we are approaching the moment, the point of no return. We are, most of us, incredulous that the voter populace could be so whacked out that John McCain might have a banana’s chance in ape-ville to continue the Bush legacy. We are, most of us, holding our breaths until January 20th, 2009 for a sudden shock wave to spread from Washington, changing these times we live in. We are, most of us, anxiously anticipating the cleansing of our worldly image and a return in the world eye to an America that isn’t mumbled or hushed or hidden.
We haven’t done much towards these ends, mind you, except to let the months and the years pass. We haven’t acted or even been aware of just how bad it’s been, but we really can’t wait for it. It’ll be righteous.
But.
Things don’t work that way. First of all, Bush won twice, so I don’t put any bets down where American voters are concerned. Unpredictable animals, that lot. Secondly, Barack Obama is not Albus Dumbledore, and it won’t be fast and furious with a deep magic in his eyes, love in his heart and a phoenix feather wand that he changes the course of this nation. Not to mention that even though we’ve all been acting like it for the last 2 years, it’s not senioritis time for voters yet; there’s still plenty of time to make things worse.
Check it out: very soon it will evolve to be clear and public knowledge that your country is going to actively start World War III by bombing Iran. This is not exhibitionism. This is a common sense and educated conclusion from paying attention to anything beyond CNN and the Situation Room, which frankly, don’t report the news or any other kind of situation, for that matter. They are in the business of giving you something to stare at and not change the channel.
There. I said it. You knew it all along, but you can continue to pretend, if you like.
And once again, the current administration defends its position of aggression by saying it’s a last option. Note, though, that it’s McCain, who could, by all accounts be the next president, who has already rejected diplomacy, which to him means “sitting down with the Iranian president or supreme leader in the hope that we can talk sense into them.”
This is the first problem: American leadership doesn’t understand the middle east. They have absolutely no idea what’s on the other side of the table. And here’s what’s worse: they don’t care.
“Talk some sense into them,” John McCain said.
Really, John? That’s the approach we’re taking? Do these people in Washington really think that diplomacy is John Wayne-ing them into the sand and maybe a round of noogies? Iran is a country, not a band of school-children bullies or mining town thugs. There are real people who live there, educated people, good people, successful people, and also a bunch of lunatics, just like we have here. Yes, they have some customs and traditions and laws that are kinda weird to us in the west. But who do you think makes atrocities like pancake-wrapped sausages on a stick? To assume that what they need is a lecture is either sheer arrogance or profound ignorance, or maybe both. But we don’t have time to figure out which. The clock is ticking.
Look: this is not a case of misunderstanding. This is a case of at-odds-values. No one is going to convince the Iranian government that Israel is not a “stinking corpse” any more than they’re going to convince someone who still believes the Holocaust was made up that it wasn’t. But that’s just a pretty picture for the press, and not the real issue here.
The real issue is that the Unites States has a policy to defend Israel at all costs and that policy is at odds with the lucrative oil business in the rest of the middle east. Deepening the issue, there are few people who can explain why the US defends Israel, yet they stand by it and make policies around it. It’s confusing, like not knowing why Dumbledore stands up for Professor Snape.
But while we sit and get lied to, things are brewing, and there is still plenty of time for Bush & Co. to announce that they are about to bomb Iran. Likely that they’ve already decided to, and John McCain knows about it, you can bet on that. No one in the press is asking questions, no one in the government is talking about much beyond shiny things like Scott McClellan’s “they made me do it” book, or same-sex marriages. And that, I guess, is our tradition.
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Things happen fast in this business. I had spent some time yesterday, mulling over the different facets of the presidential primaries - this run for the convention, this horse race of childish antics and outrageous accusations. In doing so I was prepared to call these primaries done and over with. It seemed so easy.
And I will still do this. Later in this post, in fact, so keep reading. But I feel compelled to inform you that much has changed (overnight, no less) and my original reasoning, while sound, will have to stand up and face the recent developments that happened last night, not the least of which are Giuliani and Edwards’ withdrawal from the show.
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So let’s get into the meat of the matter: I’m going to call the elections right now. Just get it over with. I’m tired of all the brouhaha and I’d like to get on with my day and if the networks have the results, maybe they’ll go away and bring us back some useful reporting. Or maybe they’ll just go away, which is fine with me too.
I’ll do the republicans first because they’re easier, especially now that John McCain’s buddy-buddy, the cross-dressing-for-money, Donald Trump-kissing Rudy Giuliani has “stepped aside” and made way for the stronger, less divorce-laden, less insane-stare-giving of the two renegades. There is little more to Giuliani’s departure than this. He lost big in Florida and many times before that. His lot was shaky at best, and they never even looked their best. He played a better card than Fred Thompson, that’s true, but that’s only as good as saying that Rob Schneider is better than Billy Crystal because he had a better director. They’re both still the same crap.
And while we’re on Giuliani, the only candidate the south ever favored without being able to spell, let’s talk about that hack, Chris Matthews.
Ever the loud-mouth for no reason at all and laying softies on anything that leans his way, Matthews lost some big ground this week when Giuliani fell out of the race, or tossed himself out, depending on how well-informed you are. And let’s talk about what that means because this journalism thing… it’s not pleasant or forgiving… and neither am I.
Let me make something clear: Matthews is not a lying hack because he leaned and rubbed against the wrong candidate and lost. Hell, you take risks in this business and no one gets it perfectly all the time. Even HST thought George McGovern had a sporting chance in the ‘72 race against Nixon, that Carter would smoke out Regan and that Vice President Bush would never make it out of the White House without handcuffs and that he would win in Aspen under the banner of freak power. But the old GOP boys were one step ahead of him with a move hat despite all previous signs and signals, no one expected: flat out cheating in the very face of the authority of the law, unprecedented incompetence at the caucus level, all out corruption and now as a result of the last 40 years of impotent chimps running the White House and at the climax of our time, a clinically retarded American Public. Which is not what we’re talking about here. Christ.
Matthews is a dishonest hack because he tried to hide his mistake, sweep it under the carpet of the complacency of the audience. He relied on the fact that no one watched him in the first place, so no one would notice his flip-flop. He backtracked on Giuliani the same exact moment that Giuliani announced he was throwing in his towel. He contradicted everything he’s said as a journalist for the past few weeks (at least) and all without a single apology or acknowledgment of his mistake. This is unacceptable journalism.
Having once touted Rudy as “the perfect candidate” and “the person with the best shot to win the Republican nomination”, moments after Rudy announced his end of the chase, Matthews could be heard saying things like “What Rudy Giuliani lacked all along was a purpose, a big idea as to why he should be president,” and “9-11 is a thing of the past.”
Some people don’t realize he does this every day. Some people don’t realize that this is not the first time he does this, but that it is in fact, his strategy, the way he makes his buck: by letting things happen and then explaining them away as if he had said it all along. He’s like a modern day Nostradamus, using vague stories and strange explanations that most don’t understand entirely to confound the people that would otherwise be looking at the man behind the curtain. It’s literary slight of hand, and in the English language we have a word to describe people who can pull this trick on the distracted and willing public. That word is: illusionist. A talented street thief with an act.
The man is a magician with words. He tells you what you want to hear and then he purposefully (as his paycheck depends on it) deceives you. And you let him. You have to let him, you have to want him to deceive you, or else he wouldn’t get away with it. With rubber balls, playing cards and handkerchiefs, that’s fine; that’s the way the game is played. But with the knowledge that gives you the power to make an informed decision about how to be governed, that’s fucking tragic.
Romney’s campaign, by the way, is one loin-cloth away from the mummy and I give the man standing room only because he outspends all of his candidates combined by 53 to 32. But don’t forget that he has 17 million in debt to his opponent’s 2 million. Deficit is, after all, what makes a president these days.
The Huckster, while he looked good on “The Daily Show” a few months ago, has degenerated into a Baptist-spewing lunatic that will not stand well when confronted by the rest of the nation after the primaries are over. Changing the constitution has never been an easy task, least of all to the President, who actually has little to do with the process, but Huckabee wants to use it to pour Bible talk over us all. And it’s not that American’s will not stand for this kind of insurgency - America will stand for almost anything it’s properly told to do. It’s that they’re too used to the idea that saying church stuff in public elicits lawsuits, and no one wants more of those, except the plaintiff’s lawyers, and they’re all on the other side, always. The Republican Party is not so stupid that they don’t realize this. They are, after all, the more political of the two animals.
So John McCain is going to be the GOP candidate. There; I said it. No wiggle room. Either I’m right or I’m not. This could be great. Or it could be horrible.
Great because with someone so inherently contradictory, so violently linked to the former regime, we can’t help but have a democrat in the White House; it would be a beating so ugly it would make Nixon roll in his grave after the Kennedy election. Any one of them should beat the guy by a 15 point spread.
Terrible because America did elect George W. Bush twice running now, and seems poised to learn not a single thing from that mistake. After all that has happened, I will NOT put my money on the American public’s ability to learn history, no more than I would wager that Bush has learned from Iraq and will definitely NOT bomb Iran for reasons even he can’t explain.
For those that don’t know, by the way, John McCain has come right out and said that there will be another war. Mind you, not “more” war; “another” war. He hasn’t specified that it will be Iran he’ll bomb, be he’s not talking about Iraq or Afghanistan, if those even count as “war” because no self-respecting general will spread American forces thinner than they already are. Shit, we couldn’t rake some one’s yard after a drizzle with the National Guard we have now.
Besides, the childish criminal and terrorist tactics of a few disgruntled old men that pass for war these days is atrocious. Men like Churchill and FDR lived in war; these guys are simply creating the largest scale playground bully antics the world has seen to date. They create their own problem. They supply the solution. They subsequently fail. Talk about a systemic monopoly, eh?
And it’s crazy. The man has war experience. He’s got to make more sense than this talk of secrecy and trust us we know what we’re doing maneuvers that the Bush White House has gotten America used to hearing. He’s got to know better.
Shit man, I’ve been to Vietnam, I’ve walked through the gates of the Hanoi Hilton, I’ve seen the place where John McCain was imprisoned and tortured at the hands of the North Vietnamese. It doesn’t make sense, and so much for straight talk.
The Democrats are a little more complicated, but I’m going to call it for Obama, and not because John Edwards, the solid-choice, high-road taking John Edwards has dropped out of the race for lack of funds, or because Hilary seems to have no scruples whatsoever. It’s about a man we all know well. It’s about Bill.
Indeed. Where is Bill?
Where is Bill Clinton these days? Is he standing by Hilary, attracting the spotlight the way he necessarily can? Is he shouting her name and getting American’s from all walks of life to shout it with him? Is he discussing his plans for how he’ll contribute as the first… ladies-man? Well, yeah. Kinda.
But look closer. His heart’s not in it. He’s not standing beside her, he’s near her. He’s not getting people to shout her name, he’s getting people to say it. He’s not talking about his plans about serving as first ladies-man because he’s thinking about his plans for serving in the cabinet or office of whoever does win, and that will be the man he doesn’t disparage. Bill Clinton is the only one playing a clean game in this horse race, and his golden stare is looking straight at Barack.
Not that it matters. Hilary could lose to McCain, that’s true, but not likely. Edwards would’ve made a scene of the man and probably will when Obama offers him a spot on his cabinet. Hell, it could even be close. But there is no way - and I know I’ve thought this before - but there is no way a war president will be replaced by a fresh war president. Especially not one who makes as little sense as John McCain.
And there you have it, readers. And lest you think my arrogance is accidental in this matter I will tell you upfront that I’m just getting to know this business, and from what I see you can’t half-ass this shit. Hell, if you can at least put out something you can respect, that’s more gold than most of the hacks around are doing, correct or not. So long as it’s factual. Clearly label your opinions… so that you know to throw them out later. Maybe I’ll learn to be more understanding or less judgmental, but you’ll start noticing when that happens.
For now and until that day, keep your ear to the grindstone.
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